 364  Josh Bilings (USA, 1818-1885) Good breeding (хорощее воспитание) consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. Mark Twain (USA, 1835-1910) FISH STORIES Tbe Scales A man who always boasted about the fish he had caught soon found that his neighbours did not believe him. So he bought a pair of scales (весы), installed it in his library and had his friends watch him while he weighted the fish. One evening a neighbour ran in to borrow (взять взаймы) his scales. He has back almost immediately, smiling and proud. "Congratulate me (поздравьте меня)" he cried. "I am the father of a 24-pound baby boy”. Bigger and Better Everybody knows that Texans (техасцы) are very proud of their State. It is the biggest State in the United States, so they think that everything is bigger and better in Texas than in other places under the sun. An old Texan was attending a fishermen’s conference in California. Speaker after speaker rose and spoke about remarkable West Coast fish. The Texan felt his anger rise, and when his turn to speak came, he began very quickly: "Well, we don't have any fish in Texas worth boasting about.” Then he showed with his hands a length about 12 inches. "I never saw any bigger than that.” He stopped briefly, looked at his audience and added: "Off course you have to remember that we always measure our fish between eyes." It Could Be Worse A traveller came up to a fisherman. "Having any luck?” (везет или нет?) "Not so bad," replied the fisherman. "I haven't had a bite (клев) in three hours." "What is so good about that?" asked the traveller in surprise (удивление). "You see that fellow over there? Well he hasn't had a bite in six hours." Fisherman's Wife Woman cleaning fish at sink (кухонная раковина) to fisherman husband: "Why can’t you be like other men? They never catch anything." Грамматика: Сослагательное наклонение. Should. Условные предложения. 364 |
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